Gateway to restoration

Why is it that, when life could be so simple, it just seems so difficult? Why can’t I get to it, reach it? Why does my mind keep spinning and spinning, leaving me restless? Why can’t I just determine all the things that keep me struggling? Is it because I won’t accept it? Why should I do that for? It just makes no sense at all. Is it because I don’t want to accept or allow all the things that happened to me? Maybe because I’ve been raised this way? Because I think there’s no reason or right for me to be worried, tired, anxious, sad and depressed? It’s unbelievable. Though I chose for intensive therapy to get help, to get rid of it, I still don’t accept and allow my depression, the reason, the source of it! I can only pray the Lord help me accept this.

Yes, it was hard. Yes, it did hurt. Yes, it wasn’t easy. Yes, there is a right for my feelings, sorrow and grief. Whether it’s true or false, I have the right to have and ‘store’ my feelings, they deserve a place. A place to be confirmed, comforted, to be restored and sent back to my Heavenly Father, who has already carried it all. Yes, there is a right for my feelings! The Lord, my Father knows them, even better than myself. He confirms them, comforts them, restores them and gives them a place. He doesn’t reject my feelings. He doesn’t reject my sorrow and problems. He embraces them. For they are a part of me that has to be taken care of, not to be rejected.

Accepting my feelings, grief and sorrow is the gateway to restoration. The first step to a new life.

                            © Tynke Mulder